WE Will Do This

I seem to be finding my writing inspiration from fellow blogger's lately, I can't help it. What gave me more inspiration for today's post was receiving an email yesterday for participation in a study, it goes a little something like this....

"My name is Ann Liesen and I am a Doctoral Candidate at Oakland University in the School of Education, Department of Counseling.  I am conducting a dissertation study examining the relationship between parent’s perceived stress and quality of life satisfaction when raising a child with ASD.  I am also exploring coping and social support conditions that influence this relationship."

I will be participating in this survey and BE HONEST with myself and with Ms. Liesen.

There are so many times our marriage is tested. As I was reading my blog list for the day I was reassured that Amos and I are not the only ones. My Autism Street Neighbor had a post today titled "We are in this Together." I read this, I cried, I laughed and I could TOTALLY relate. Sure Amos and I did not expect to raising a special child with needs, we did not expect to have our child in  therapy since he was 2 years old, or did we ever expect we needed to learn to BE PATIENT. Patience was never either of our best qualities, and we still have a ways to go I am not going to lie. But we are going to do this. We will get through this and enjoy eachother and our babies.

There are many battles that we have to fight and choose which of those is worth the fight. One of the more difficult things is how do you parent a child that is typically developed vs. one who isn't? How do you explain to your 5 year old that is OK for his brother to insist on going to Monster Jam every time we get in the car and to keep insisting and yelling and screaming if we make a wrong turn towards Tingly Coliseum? We cannot just ask him to quite down or explain to him where we are going and everything be ok. How do we explain to Degan that the monster truck he was given on his birthday has become this week/weeks obsession for his little brother? How do we give Degan, Prestyn, and Cruz the same amount of attention? How do we teach Cruz how to share when his older brother doesn't understand the concept? How do we show Cruz that  Prestyn would rather play alone? Aren't big brothers supposed to play together?

Our parenting is questioned each and every day. How do I convince Amos when it comes to Prestyn, when we escalate the discipline we are escalating the problem ? How do I help him understand that while time-out may work for Degan it doesn't for Prestyn.

It is things like this that put A LOT of PRESSURE and STRAIN on our relationship.

Amos and I  have learned to deal and handle A LOT in just one year, I am actully really proud of us! One thing we have learned to accept is for a little man to be in our bed 6 out of 7 nights. Our boys were never co-sleepers, it was always better for us all to each sleep in our own beds. Amos and I were able to spend our time next to each other in bed, talking and just enjoying each others company. Within the past year Prestyn has needed us to go to sleep. He needs some deep pressure, some tickling and rubbing on his back. There are times when he is not in our bed that I will wake up and it be 2 a.m. and he is still not asleep. The minute I walk him to our room and lay him down with us and apply some pressure to my hold he is fast asleep. We understand that is something Prestyn needs regardless of how many times we are kicked, rolled over onto a monster truck or woken up before the sun comes up.  

Amos and I want to be the best parents possible to our children, all 3 of them; as well as wanting to  maintain a healthy loving relationship. I am not going to sugar coat it,  its hard and I am sure for both of us there are times when we don't think we can do it......then we are reminded that through thick and thin, through sickness and health...WE WILL MAKE IT!